May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
