Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
