ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
