Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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