This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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