he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
