Small penises have feelings too.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
