Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
