my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize