Will you blow on my dice?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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