Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
