jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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