Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
