Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
