awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
