I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
