there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
