Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im holly from the hills drunk
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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