Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Sorry about my life...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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