I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
