and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
