dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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