Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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