Me. At least after what I've been through.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
