I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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