You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
