Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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