why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
