Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
