Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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