i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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