so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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