It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
