No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
