You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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