i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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