my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
