When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
