Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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