Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  your butthole totally puckers for the ginge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): your butthole totally puckers for the ginge http://tfl.nu/9qqb
  Replies (1) Good night (974) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room. http://tfl.nu/qbvq
  Replies (45) Good night (1428) Bad night (4034)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  hey.....beach week happens

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ? (1-301): hey.....beach week happens http://tfl.nu/0seh
  Replies (18) Good night (4568) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer. http://tfl.nu/jibz
  Replies (52) Good night (37269) Bad night (1875)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs. http://tfl.nu/0b7z
  Replies (18) Good night (5386) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'. http://tfl.nu/12fd
  Replies (9) Good night (783) Bad night (2366)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales. http://tfl.nu/sbow
  Replies (4) Good night (3663) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom http://tfl.nu/d012
  Replies (5) Good night (1602) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car. http://tfl.nu/qdlm
  Replies (9) Good night (2136) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  ...the American dream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit. (1-812): ...the American dream. http://tfl.nu/qt7c
  Replies (15) Good night (3160) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition. http://tfl.nu/pnv9
  Replies (8) Good night (1115) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS http://tfl.nu/2482
  Replies (5) Good night (771) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Playing nyquil pong with a cat again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Playing nyquil pong with a cat again http://tfl.nu/9ic0
  Replies (2) Good night (623) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message http://tfl.nu/s744
  Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night. http://tfl.nu/x36l
  Replies (1) Good night (232) Bad night (563)

Randomize