Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.

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(310): View more from California

I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.

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(757): View more from Virginia

She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

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(937): View more from Ohio

She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

Exactly how many...is TOO many?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?

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