Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.

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  (313): I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines. http://tfl.nu/hfn6
  Replies (3) Good night (1238) Bad night (1670)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.

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  (202): Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around. http://tfl.nu/2wok
  Replies (7) Good night (573) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick

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  (631): i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick http://tfl.nu/rq3v
  Replies (20) Good night (1449) Bad night (1859)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.

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  (267): In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/c22r
  Replies (14) Good night (511) Bad night (3884)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube

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  (617): I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube http://tfl.nu/ozne
  Replies (13) Good night (3131) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex

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  (352): I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex http://tfl.nu/73ql
  Replies (13) Good night (824) Bad night (3895)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.

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  (704): Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time. http://tfl.nu/8mlt
  Replies (6) Good night (3035) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why is there bacon braided in my hair

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  (303): Why is there bacon braided in my hair http://tfl.nu/324s
  Replies (15) Good night (3342) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.

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  (480): I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends. http://tfl.nu/9x75
  Replies (11) Good night (823) Bad night (3437)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Ugh he's texting me.

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.

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  (204): Ugh he's texting me. (1-204): Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/6r54
  Replies (5) Good night (1580) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.

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  (304): I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing. http://tfl.nu/fjwm
  Replies (5) Good night (407) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer

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  (775): Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer http://tfl.nu/5k0a
  Replies (2) Good night (443) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.

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  (760): You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral. http://tfl.nu/a5j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1208) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.

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  (407): and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends. http://tfl.nu/08f5
  Replies (1) Good night (1065) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.

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  (412): He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/cf48
  Replies (5) Good night (1340) Bad night (373)

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