I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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