wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"