bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
