Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off

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  (818): Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off http://tfl.nu/wsi1
  Replies (8) Good night (3328) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy

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  (740): Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy http://tfl.nu/qjnh
  Replies (11) Good night (1778) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..

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  (207): It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted.. http://tfl.nu/j3e7
  Replies (57) Good night (1156) Bad night (16231)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.

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  (860): i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him. http://tfl.nu/6b9m
  Replies (9) Good night (886) Bad night (3154)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

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  (518): i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina http://tfl.nu/y9lz
  Replies (104) Good night (12557) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.

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  (306): I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters. http://tfl.nu/tngh
  Replies (16) Good night (1077) Bad night (8157)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.

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  (416): Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer. http://tfl.nu/oqpc
  Replies (6) Good night (2114) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.

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  (202): I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other. http://tfl.nu/g6xu
  Replies (24) Good night (4763) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.

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  (803): I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/6l9f
  Replies (4) Good night (2362) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.

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  (970): She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/2nbx
  Replies (12) Good night (910) Bad night (2661)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

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  (229): Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing? http://tfl.nu/q7mi
  Replies (6) Good night (2133) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few

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  (617): I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few http://tfl.nu/zw2s
  Replies (8) Good night (1037) Bad night (2100)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(

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  (419): She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :( http://tfl.nu/482z
  Replies (3) Good night (432) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.

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  (423): People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store. http://tfl.nu/4ti5
  Replies (9) Good night (615) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout

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  (713): Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout http://tfl.nu/4b12
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (474)

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