How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
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you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
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I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.