Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.

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(310): View more from California

the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights

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(619): View more from California

There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.

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(284): View more from British V.I.-Carib

they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over

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(312): View more from Illinois

WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!

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