Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?

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  (810): Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"? http://tfl.nu/nq90
  Replies (2) Good night (612) Bad night (1036)
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  (805): View more from California

  I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

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  (805): I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!" http://tfl.nu/ih8w
  Replies (24) Good night (4116) Bad night (671)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.

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  (313): We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights. http://tfl.nu/0a84
  Replies (29) Good night (4943) Bad night (715)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked

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  (613): who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked http://tfl.nu/fbnh
  Replies (4) Good night (2590) Bad night (606)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The ice cream man just told me to use protection.

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  (914): The ice cream man just told me to use protection. http://tfl.nu/w7kz
  Replies (6) Good night (2440) Bad night (671)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.

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  (618): I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy. http://tfl.nu/it0x
  Replies (6) Good night (2385) Bad night (623)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.

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  (978): rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home. http://tfl.nu/3qi1
  Replies (8) Good night (1152) Bad night (552)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter

  (323): View more from California

  yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake

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  (215): yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter (323): yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake http://tfl.nu/wu9k
  Replies (13) Good night (822) Bad night (1234)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?

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  (719): Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I? http://tfl.nu/9iuq
  Replies (7) Good night (524) Bad night (1696)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.

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  (440): He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face. http://tfl.nu/bq6r
  Replies (9) Good night (533) Bad night (829)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives

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  (508): Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives http://tfl.nu/526e
  Replies (5) Good night (265) Bad night (843)
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  (760): View more from California

  He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....

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  (760): He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch.... http://tfl.nu/h307
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (291)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.

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  (253): If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat. http://tfl.nu/66de
  Replies (2) Good night (213) Bad night (554)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.

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  (+61): I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING. http://tfl.nu/8crd
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (263)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong

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  (605): Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong http://tfl.nu/jxwn
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (199)

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