Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
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Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
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I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!