can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life