i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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