fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
