God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's just like the Real World with babies
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
3 2 1 whiskey
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize