Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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