We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
