You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
