how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
