Will you blow on my dice?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
