I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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