god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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