Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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