3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
