I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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