Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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