Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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