They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
