She announced her abortion via fbk
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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