There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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