Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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